If I were a boooooy...

Dear MTV,

You are the only person (entity? demon?) that I put on the same level as the dreaded palmetto bug when writing you scathing letters on my simple little blog. Know why? Because you consistently, consistently(!) get worse. At least with the roaches I know that they are disgusting and that is their nature. I am learning the same of you, MTV.

You would think that things couldn't get worse than "A Shot at Love with Tila Tequila." You would think that things couldn't get worse than "Made," which frankly, just makes me sad...

"I want to be made into a girl that boys will date." Ouch. Having pride or dignity might help you on the way, but you forfeited that when you signed up to make yourself out to be a total and complete (SELF-PROFESSED) loser on national television. Buck up, sweetheart. You aren't single because of your acne or your glasses, you're single because you don't think you're worth a boyfriend. [Ending my self-help/didactic nonsense now.]

Now we move on to what actually prompted me to make this post. "True Life." When watching this show, it needs to be noted that they don't make true life shows about people whose lives are enviable. They make it about people whose lives make you sad because they seem so horribly confusing/disproportionate/complicated that it will make you feel normal, no matter what.

This is terrible, MTV! I am watching this little gem right now. It is hurting me. MTV, do not exploit these people. They are young. They seem misguided (though I am trying really, really hard not to judge them). They are in search of something that they cannot reach (objet petit a?) and they want it so badly that they will put themselves out there to perhaps find a little bit of recognition and respect. Do not take the bait, MTV! It is morally reprehensible to take advantage of these people.

Oh, and any of these people, if you should happen to read it. Jeff! You are probably the world's worst boyfriend! Why are two girls fighting over you? Your personal sense of style even hurts me a little bit...

I think that'll be the end of my rant. But you deserved this, MTV. You really did. I think I'm going to change the channel now.

But yes, you better believe I will tune in on Sunday night to watch Britney. Laura and I danced around just thinking about it at work today. We are excited. If it wasn't for specials like this, I would petition to have you taken off air. Oh, MTV, I do a great job of staying away from you, but I do love Ms. Spears. How could you (again with this terrible verb) exploit my weakness. That's just rude.

Love,
MTP