Could you be loved?

Today I frantically searched my room for my insurance card. It wasn't in the check box where I keep cards that I don't deem important enough to be in my wallet (why don't I find my insurance card worthy? why!). So I looked in the folder that holds things that are old, my Horizon bank folder where I keep most of my writing, pictures, and aha my car insurance card from a policy I no longer hold for a car that I no longer drive. Of course.

As I went through the writing I found the oldest fiction pieces to be from 2004. That is five years ago! Some of them I had to throw away, even though I loved the writing, because the topic made me get all huffy and puffy and I don't want to blow this pretty house of cards down. Some of them I kept because, despite the topic, they were too sweet and terrible to throw away (a particular piece has me channeling Tom Robbins in all the wrong ways- I'm sure he'd cringe at the words). Some of them were so depressing that I kept them just to remind myself that I'm in a better place.

But then I found some things even older. The autobiography I wrote of myself in the 8th grade, for example. But even better, a list of qualities that I wished for in a potential boyfriend in the 7th grade. This isn't a list of qualities I wanted in seventh graders. This was what I wanted in a man, in the man, in the love of my life. It is long, it is so severely outdated, and it is hilarious.

Take a gander.

*My Man* [Yes, I did title it this and I did use stars to outline the title. All punctuation, shorthand, etc. is maintained from the original in the best way I knew how.]

• Over 5'7''
• Shorter than 6'2''
• Handsome
• Thin to slightly built
• Not overly hairy
• Good hygiene
• Pretty Smile
• Siblings
• Better voice than mine
• Funny
• Must love music
• Good @ sports
• No facial hair!!!
• Short hair
• Good style in clothes
• No weird obsessions
• NO SCRUBS!!!!!!
• Romantic
• Sincere/Honest
• Likes dogs (ROY!) [ed note: Roy was the name of the rottweiler I dreamed of owning.]
• Charming
• Polite
• Likes same music as me
• Likes basketball (Jordan!)
• Respectful
• Interesting
• Motivated
• Get along with JC [tween code for Christian]
• Non-smoker
• Good cologne
• Good dancer
• Good breath
• Strong morals
• Loves family
• Humble
• Good eyes
• Good conversationalist
• Understanding
• Protective, BUT
• Not jealous
• Likes shopping
• Likes roller coasters
• Good taste in food
• Good last name
• Forgiving
• Spoils me
• Generous towards others
• Intelligent
• Nice shoes
• Pretty hands
• Confident, BUT
• NOT CONCEITED
• Like children
• No ugly piercings
• No ugly tattoos (black: woo-hoo!)
• Nice friends
• Good at partying
• NOT "perfect"
• Literate
• Watches good movies
• Good laugh
• Responsible
• Likes warm weather
• Doesn't tan

I made a revised list in 2005. It was titled "What I Like in a Man" and had three points. 1. Tall. 2. Smart. 3. Funny.

Funny that I had, by my count, sixty-four points when I was 11 and three points when I was 18. I wonder how many I'd have now, but I think I realize that my high standards don't come from a list. Now, if only I can figure out where they do come from?