I don't care if you really care, as long as you don't go.

Sometimes I have to wonder just what the dogs are thinking when they watch what goes on in this house. Today is Tuesday and I haven't worked since Saturday. In my three days off, I wonder increasingly what they think of what goes on when I'm here.

Exhibit A- Details Magazine. Apparently, this is a men's magazine. I use the word "men's" to really mean "metrosexual's". I mean, seriously, many straight-laced straight men would cower at a magazine targeted for them that discusses "douchebag hair", "winter wardrobe", and "The Gossip Guys". Ohhhh, those Gossip Guys! You will be pleased to know that there are also pictures of David Beckham in a cardigan, a great article by Augusten Burroughs, and a interesting portrait of Ridley Scott. It isn't all about the Gossip Guys, they just happen to be the most amazing part of the magazine. (At least in this issue. Apparently, there's one with Shia LeBeouf, too...) When I got to the part where they interviewed Ed Westwick, I literally went "Eee!" and took the magazine into my room to read it in bed. For some reason, I did not think it appropriate to hug the magazine to my body and grin in the livingroom. I don't think it is appropriate to hug magazines to your body and grin in any room, come to think of it. Perhaps I was just going to my room to hide my shame... The dogs followed, though. Luckily, they just fell asleep on the floor.

Exhibit B- Music. Seriously. I am now listening to Nick Drake, and that is suitably appropriate for 7:41 in the evening, laying in bed and writing a blog. Just a few minutes ago, though, I was actually bouncing in my seat to "Lovefool" by the Cardigans. Part of the song rings too close to home, but mostly, it is so catchy. Sure, you say, that song went out of style, oh, who knows, when Baz Lurhmann's "Romeo and Juliet" stopped playing in the theaters. But I still like it and I will still play it. Plus, it is less embarrassing than the Taylor Swift or, oh, don't say it, you know I'm gonna, Miley Cyrus that I've been known to pump through the speakers in my weakest moments. I'm not sure that the dogs really notice my music, but I would imagine they'd have to. Who couldn't notice "Jesus, Etc."?

Exhibit C- And this one must really mess the dogs up. Facon. Yeah, I said it. Fake-bacon. Facon. Every time I cook it (or one of the girls does), I imagine those commercials with the dog nose running through a house and into the kitchen screaming "Bacon! Bacon, bacon, bacon, bacon, BACON!" Our dogs don't do that. Luckily for me, I am not pulling out Beggin' Strips, though. I am enjoying the salty, savory goodness of a product that looks/smells/and tastes so suspiciously like bacon that sometimes I have to pause and wonder just what is going into my body [editor's note- "That's what she said."]. In fact, Zuli started whimpering as I wrote that sentence. I would guess that either she objects to this facon or wants me to respect her utter restraint in not trying to eat it every time I cook it. Or she is just uncomfortable on the wood floors.

I could use more examples of things that really seem to confuse the hell out of the dogs: cigarette smoke, why in the heck I actually do my laundry on occasion and take away their happy home on the floor (La has already done this, so they sought refuge in my wasteland of a space), and of course, beer, but I shall stop.

Blogging? It's been a while. Felt good... I guess.